In every love story, there’s only room for one lea…

In every love story, there’s only room for one leading man. – Win A Date With Tad Hamilton!

What’s Wrong With Craig’s List? The Women Are to B…

What’s Wrong With Craig’s List? The Women Are to Blame….

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Reply to: anon-21641037@craigslist.org

Date: 2003-12-31, 3:24PM

The men on Craig�s List apparently can be boiled down to three basic types: those writing to the audience (“I want a relationship with candles and walks on the beach, and kids, yeah, kids”) and the ones that are (a lot) more straightforward (“here’s my penis picture – can we get together for sex?”). Then there are those of us that are normal, good guys, but you can’t find us when 1000 guys pummel your post in the first 15 minutes. However, I am convinced, absolutely, that the women are the source of all the confusion on Craig’s List. My experience with Craig�s List so far has revealed that because certain types of women repeat themselves often enough, I’ve been able to identify and name them.

The Real Thing Girl. The Real Thing Girl is nice, real (of course), down to earth and doesn�t play any games. She�s really looking for what she says (and knows what she is looking for!) and is willing to send a recent and representative picture. She�s also willing to talk and then meet you without days and weeks of endless e-mail. One out of ten thousand.

The “I Never Did This Before” Girl. Claims that she has NEVER done on-line dating, and that “you’re the first post I ever responded to.” Really has 3 different posts on Craig’s List, and accounts at Match.com, Matchmaker.com, Nerve.com, TimeOutNY.com and sometimes J-Date. Gets confused about who it is you are. Runs home after meeting you to check her e-mails from the 100 other guys that responded to her many posts while she was out with you. Always figuring “this guy is nice, but there must be someone better showing up in my mailbox tomorrow.” Secret member of the Internet Dating “Free Dinners For Life” club.

The Zoloft Girl. The �Zoloft� Girl can make believe she is the Real Thing, until you get past the first email or post where she presented herself after revising her post 100 times to be the person she’d like to be. Then you broach the issue of actually meeting her. She then sends you an extremely disjointed e-mail with many spelling and grammatical errors detailing all the reasons why she will not meet you unless you do any one of 1000 different things. If you fall for it and proceed with all this hoop jumping, she still will not meet you. If you do end up meeting her, she will eventually try to have you arrested for stalking when you call her after your date to tell her you had a good time. Uses words like �afraid� and �scared� much too often.

Hooker/Ho/Escort/Massage/Sugar Baby Girl. Can be in any one of the mentioned categories, actually (except Real Thing) but wants to be paid to have sex with you, or just to touch you or to hang out with you (while you buy her things) or to get the opportunity to rob your wallet. The best posts are the ones that claim to be “not a pro.” However, let’s face it, if you want money for sex (for whatever reason), you’re a hooker, so get over it.

Too-Specific Girl. Has to have a white man with height somewhere between 5� 11 �� and 6� 1�, no more than 180 lbs., but no less than 175, blue eyes, no, not that kind of blue, the other kind of blue that’s bluer than the first kind, light (not dark) brown hair, but not too short, or not too long: you get the general idea. Whatever you are, you will not qualify for what she thinks she is looking for, so just forget about it.

(Subspecies) “Specific Height” Girl. Wants a man of 6 feet or more. Doesn’t matter that she’s 4′ 11″ and shaped like a soccer ball. Makes a big deal out of the fact that some guy said he was 6 feet when he was really 5′ 11 1/2. Forgets that a lot of women descibe themselves as “Petite” which is really “Internet Petite” (which is anything under 5′ 4″ regardless of weight).

Indie (or Downtown or East Village) Girl. Has tatoos either on her leg or at waist level on her back (or both) and various piercings in strange places. Likes cigarettes and gum (at the same time). She’s the best bet for a casual encounter, but prefers non-bathing, dred-lock guys that snowboard all winter (and that have no jobs – go figure). If you’re a poet (or can fake it), you’re probably in here.

Rambling Post Girl. This poor creature’s thoughts are so disorganized, it’s hard to believe the post was actually written at one time. The sentences don’t match up, the words are not spelled correctly. Usually has a list of 1000 requirements (similar to Too Specific Girl) but never gets to the point where she describes herself at all. Could be Angry Fat Girl combined with Zoloft Girl in disguise. Beware!

Ego Girl. Usually attractive, although she thinks she’s much prettier than she is, and is sometimes a little overweight (but hides it with designer clothing). Probably a graduate of NYU, or worse, Columbia grad school. Ego Girl is educated far beyond her native intelligence because Daddy had the cash to finance it. She believes because of this that she is highly intelligent, and far superior to all that suffer below her, which is nearly everybody and definitely you. Ego Girl will only date men with at least a graduate degree and that make the big bucks, and appears to be very concerned with the kind of car you drive. Most likely also a “City Girl.”

Angry Fat Girl. Overweight or more usually obese, she blames everyone else for her not being able to stop eating and get off her ass and do something about her body. Easily recognized by postings referring to girls who are in shape as “unhealthy” or that identifes herself with words and phrases such as �curvy,� �a real woman,� “voluptuous,” “not a waif,” “thick,” “built,” “not athletic but working on it,” “body by Marilyn (yeah, right) and not Kate Moss” and similar euphemisms. Usually sends you a picture from 60 lbs. ago thinking she�ll �dazzle you with personality� later when you meet, then tries to blow your head off (figuratively) when you’re not interested and want to leave within 10 minutes of meeting.

Not Angry Fat Girl. There are a lot of these online as well. They use the euphemisms, but, they apparently don’t care about their weight, and usually claim to have a “chemical imbalance” or some such nonesense. Usually combined with “Too-Specific” Girl, Not Angry Fat Girl consistently is looking for George Clooney or someone “slender or athletic.” She is aiming high (and way out of her league) which is usually a result of attending therapy, a self-actualization workshop or a weight watchers meeting: anything other than going to the gym.

Living Off Her Past Girl. Usually in her 40�s, but claims to �look much younger, possibly mid-twenties.� Had a lot of sex in the 1970�s and fancies herself still able to attract 23 year old men (who count on this fact for easy sex, most often in the dark). Will send you a picture from 1992 or older than that. Most often combined with �Zoloft� Girl. Claims she’s looking for a committment, but can’t follow through.

Hippie Girl. Usually born in the early eighties but appears to have secured a clothes closet that somehow has been transported directly from the sixties and is not frequently found online because she got stoned and forgot her password. Claims to have been to “hundreds” of Grateful Dead shows. One of my personal favorites, however, because she is most likely to be the Real Thing (or at least honest), unless she�s addicted to crack, and then more often resembles the Zoloft Girl or Ho Girl (but she’s not a pro).

Village (or Chelsea) Girl. A close cousin to Hippie girl. She only uses mass transportation), but also has ugly feet for some reason (maybe it’s all the walking). Sometimes identified wearing Birkenstocks with no socks even in winter. Usually posts wierd, disjointed, air-head ads with no real point, but describes herself with words including “priestess” or “Goddess.” Possibly bi-sexual, possibly not. Sometimes confused with Indie Girl because she may have a Tatoo, but definitely not as cool.

Yuppie Village (or Chelsea) Girl. Not limited by neighborhood, can sometimes be identified because she wears green fuzzy socks with the Birkenstocks (and therefore has much better feet). Little is known about this species because of her chameleon-like ability to adapt to the personality of whatever group she’s with. Most likely also a City Girl.

City Girl. Mostly located on the Upper East Side. Easily identified by her unwillingness to meet anyone outside of her neighborhood. Always late because of a manicure and pedicure appointment. Will absolutely not leave Manhattan for a man, or to do anything. Shows many similarities to Ego Girl. Many �City Girls� have now immigrated to the UWS, where they have tried to resemble a hybrid of City Girl, Yuppie Village Girl and Village Girl. Usually very confused.

Only Online Girl. Variety of Zoloft Girl who can never show herself to anyone. She only lives through whatever persona she created in her post and will never meet you, will never send a picture or speak on the phone. Possibly also really a 60 year old gay man with no teeth.

Mystery Girl. Wants to meet someone, but does not describe what she is, or what she looks like, how old she is or anything. She just wants to meet someone she likes. Good luck getting a response here.

High Maintenence Girl. Some girls were raised by the housekeepers of the very rich and/or famous. They pretend that they do not have the skills to interact with “lower class” people, even though they were raised by the same for the most part. If you are very rich, you may have a chance.

Please also be vary cautious of various combinations of the above, the most dangerous and volatile of which is Zoloft Girl with Angry Fat Girl. The categories represent just a few I have identified in my short, on-line experience. Your experience may differ. Personally, I am looking for Real Thing Girl, maybe crossed with Hippie Girl (not required). Of course nearly all the women I have interacted with online describe themselves as the Real Thing, then fall into one of the other categories.

Me? I am 6′ tall (definitely, not “Internet 6 feet” which I believe is anything over 5′ 7″), 175 very well worked out in the gym lbs (5x a week) and have blue eyes but no hair (although I hear I have a very sexy head – but that’s a personal taste issue). I am highly intelligent, mad fun to be around (especially just walking around the streets “riffing”), won�t ever turn into a psycho-case, and am an all around good guy. Any Real Thing Girls out there?

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Very funny post I saw on Craig’s List.

Slanted and Enchanted A blog I will visit later.

Slanted and Enchanted A blog I will visit later.

Why the hell does vacuum cleaners and hair dryers …

Why the hell does vacuum cleaners and hair dryers make SO much noise! With all the technology advances you’d think silent versions should be widely available by now!

It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if gr…

It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if greatness is expected of him.

– John Steinbeck

My Horoscope tomorrow: You’re a changer, but that…

My Horoscope tomorrow:

You’re a changer, but that doesn’t prevent you from changing. Focus your energy at the mirror and see what you can do with yourself. Find a new look that reflects who you are, how you feel about it, and what you’re going to do about that. Big results start with big attitude, which is, of course, your specialty. Friends and loved ones have been expecting something like this for a while. You’re happy to meet and exceed their preconceived notions. As long as everyone ends up talking about you, you feel as if you’ve done a good job.

[Listening to: Reason to Live – Kiss – Crazy Nights (04:00)]

Go Britney Pics – Britney Spears Pictures Can’t ge…

Go Britney Pics – Britney Spears Pictures Can’t get enuff!

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail…..

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail…but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, “Damn…that was fun!”

Real heroes are men who fall and fail and are flaw…

Real heroes are men who fall and fail and are flawed, but win out in the end because they’ve stayed true to their ideals and beliefs and commitments.

– Kevin Costner

’cause we offer something they don’t have, they do…

’cause we offer something they don’t have, they don’t want to have, they don’t get the concept of it. FREEDOM! – Siddman

Problem with Mac users is that they think so diffe…

Problem with Mac users is that they think so differently that they can’t think out of their box IMO. – Siddman

So I got a B+ in BIO 110, General Biology class I …

So I got a B+ in BIO 110, General Biology class I took this semester. Not bad, since I didn’t really study much, handed in only half the labs. Good thing was Professor based his tests on the notes and they were multiple choices. 🙂 Taking Anothropology 100 (Online Class) and Physics 110 next semester. Classes start Jan 29th, 2004.

[Listening to: Falling Down – Avril Lavigne – Sk8er Girl (03:56)]

Ever wonder why there’s no PC Addict magazine but …

Ever wonder why there’s no PC Addict magazine but the is Mac Addict magazine? Because Macs were designed by flowerchild potheads! And some Mac users are potheads! Is that a known fact? You be the judge!

[Listening to: Falling Down – Avril Lavigne – Sk8er Girl (03:56)]

Ever wonder why some girls like to wear tops or T’…

Ever wonder why some girls like to wear tops or T’s that say “Angel”? Maybe they’re not really sweet little angels but demons waiting to get you! You don’t see us guys wearing T-shirts saying “Saint”!

[Listening to: bleed for me – saliva – Daredevil OST (03:59)]

Spider-Man Blog Templates Tempting but I’ll keep m…

Spider-Man Blog Templates Tempting but I’ll keep my current design.

How To Give The Last-Minute Gift of Blog Cheap ass…

How To Give The Last-Minute Gift of Blog Cheap ass gift giving! Thoughtful.

THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW Me like disaster movies.

THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW Me like disaster movies.

Alien vs. Predator Do I even have to explain anyth…

Alien vs. Predator Do I even have to explain anything? A MUST SEE!

| THE PUNISHER | Might see only 4 the action seque…

| THE PUNISHER | Might see only 4 the action sequences.

Eurotrip Just might see it. Only 4 Michelle Tracht…

Eurotrip Just might see it. Only 4 Michelle Trachtenberg.

In America Something to wait 4 to come on premium …

In America Something to wait 4 to come on premium channels.

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT Tuff choice! Probably won’t s…

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT Tuff choice! Probably won’t see.

Along Came Polly There’s a chance I will see this …

Along Came Polly There’s a chance I will see this one.

perfect score Just might see ’cause I hate tests l…

perfect score Just might see ’cause I hate tests like SAT.

My Life Without Me This is a DVD watch movie, 2 me…

My Life Without Me This is a DVD watch movie, 2 me.

Hellboy Definitely seeing this one. Never read the…

Hellboy Definitely seeing this one. Never read the comic book but a big fan of the Devil. 🙂

Resident Evil: Apocalypse I will definitely see th…

Resident Evil: Apocalypse I will definitely see this one. Seen part one. Have it on DVD.

Spider-Man 2 Only a catastrophic disaster can stop…

Spider-Man 2 Only a catastrophic disaster can stop me from seeing this movie on the first day of release!

DAWN OF THE DEAD There’s a chance I will see this …

DAWN OF THE DEAD There’s a chance I will see this one.

Taking Lives I might see this one.

Taking Lives I might see this one.

Troy MUST see in 2004!

Troy MUST see in 2004!

The Chronicles of Riddick Spin-off from Pitch Blac…

The Chronicles of Riddick Spin-off from Pitch Black. I will see in 2004.

Godsend I will see in 2004.

Godsend I will see in 2004.

So I was eating Snickers a minute or so ago. Aske…

So I was eating Snickers a minute or so ago. Asked sister if she wanted a bite. She said save little bit for her. My mind is so whacked I totally forgot about it. She should have taken the bite when she had the chance! Same applies to everything else in life. When u get a chance, when you see something you like, take it, buy it, do whatever you can! There won’t be a second chance!

[Listening to: Somewhere I Belong – Linkin Park – Meteora (03:34)]

Sex this good can’t last forever! – HBO’s Sex and …

Sex this good can’t last forever! – HBO’s Sex and the City Promotion. Last 8 Episodes begins Jan 4, 9pm EST.

[Listening to: Firewalker – Liz Phair – Liz Phair (04:29)]

Web addresses get nip and tuck-and spam Useful whe…

Web addresses get nip and tuck-and spam Useful when sending or forwarding long ass URLs.

Josie-Maran.com Just visit dude!

Josie-Maran.com Just visit dude!

According to Tickle.com My Passion Predictor Juni…

According to Tickle.com My Passion Predictor

Junior Varsity

Remember how picky Jerry was on Seinfeld? Or how hard it was for Chandler to stick with a girlfriend before Monica on Friends? Can you relate? Like you, both of them are JV, which means they’re not quite ready for the big leagues. When it comes to relationships, having fun and getting to know lots of people is priority number one. Right now, “commitment” might not be the sweet nothing you’re dying to hear.

Sure, the idea of a long-term relationship sounds hunky dory. But when you get close to committing, do you tend to find a reason (any reason) to bolt? Is flirting just too much fun to give up? Maybe you need your space right now. Besides, your curious nature makes it tricky to limit yourself to just one person.

That’s all well and good, as long as you’re happy and not avoiding intimacy “issues.” If not, there’s no need to rush into anything, so keep having fun until you’re ready to take things to the next level.

[Listening to: Stupid – Sarah McLachlan – Afterglow (03:24)]

According to Tickle.com What I’m Looking for in a …

According to Tickle.com What I’m Looking for in a Relationship (I’m not looking, trust me)

Frisky Fling

You’re ready for an adventurous, free-spirited affair to remember. And if it comes in the form of someone who shakes up your world a bit, helps you expand your horizons, then decides to stay for awhile — all the better.

It’s not that you don’t want a serious relationship. It’s just that you might rather get there with someone who’s equally committed to having fun for now. Ever wanted to drive up the coast or across your town in a red convertible? Interested in staying at a restaurant so late the chef himself joins you at the table for a late night cappuccino? Or are you really more into a no-strings-attached companion?

For some people, a good fling starts with someone you can spend the whole day in bed with — whether you’re under the covers or playing cards in your PJs. But for others a fling is just a light-hearted approach to finding a different way to spend quality time with someone new.

[Listening to: Going Under – Evanescence – Fallen (03:35)]

According to Tickle.com Why I’m Still Single? Don…

According to Tickle.com Why I’m Still Single?

Don’t Want To Commit

Once the blush of first love wears off with your partners, do you get a little antsy? You probably crave excitement in all realms of your life, and you need a relationship to keep you filled with possibilities. Let us guess: Someone has probably told you that you haven’t quite grown up yet, that you’re still holding out for the perfect “whatevers” (job, car, home, date) in your life to come a knockin’. Or perhaps you’re just having a difficult time accepting that your comfortable little place in this world is always growing, always evolving — and that means you have to be willing to accept big life changes, too. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. After all, you’re probably a lot of fun to be around and may be the life of the party.

But when it comes to settling down, you leave without looking back twice. Now’s the time to ask yourself: Why? What’s holding you back? Maybe you don’t want someone to get to know you fully? Perhaps by saying “yes” to someone, you’re afraid you’ll lose yourself, or the possibility of something better coming along. Just remember that the best relationships are those that never stop growing. That’s something you can identify with, right? So keep that in mind next time you find someone you’re really comfortable with. You never know, it may prove even more exciting once you really get to know each other, teensy flaws and all.

[Listening to: Going Under – Evanescence – Fallen (03:35)]

The nobler sort of man emphasizes the good qualiti…

The nobler sort of man emphasizes the good qualities in others, and does not accentuate the bad. The inferior does.

– Confucius

Carmen Electra’s Official Aerobic Striptease Strip…

Carmen Electra’s Official Aerobic Striptease Strip Workout A guy will probably buy this 4 different reason. 😉

Did I ever tell you how much I hate Java? Microsof…

Did I ever tell you how much I hate Java? Microsoft’s modified version was faster. Sun’s version is a resource hog! I avoid Java as much as possible!

[Listening to: Closer – Nine Inch Nails – Downward Spiral (06:13)]

So I just rememberd, I also missed another gal pal…

So I just rememberd, I also missed another gal pal’s outing she invited me to!

[Listening to: Naked – Avril Lavigne – Sk8er Girl (03:33)]

It’s never going to get any better. Something bad …

It’s never going to get any better. Something bad will always happen. I’m used to this.

There’s only one thing I can do. I’ll make sure it all ends with me. The curse ends with me. I’m no superstitious weirdo but I must admit I haven’t met any family full of losers in my whole damn life!

[Listening to: Wherever You Will Go – The Calling – Camino Palmero (03:29)]

Yes, it sucks to be me! [Listening to: Tuesday Mor…

Yes, it sucks to be me!

[Listening to: Tuesday Morning – Michelle Branch – Hotel Paper (04:43)]

I was supposed to meet some old pals tonight. I wa…

I was supposed to meet some old pals tonight. I was waiting @ home. I got the call little later than expected. I still could have made it. BUT something happened. About 10 minutes before I got the call, sis told me it’s too cold outside (which I like), I shouldn’t go. I just came back from work several hours ago. I could get sick. I have final exam this Sat. None of them are valid excuses to me. Now if I still go and something happens, they will blame me. I personally don’t like taking blame 4 anything unless I am responsible 4 it! I also don’t like to listen to their whining. So I didn’t go. Now I look like an asshole! This type of thing happens to all the time. No wonder I’m such a screwy person! This is why I don’t make any promises.

What I should have done was to stay outside after work was done. Anyway, people need to get used to not having me around all the time. I can’t be there as much as I’d like to. Nothing lasts forever, world goes on one way or another. Time to move on guys (you know who you are). Some will ask why I let these people do this to me? ‘Cause I don’t care about myself. I don’t take care of myself, I don’t exercise, I don’t eat right, I don’t do much to make my life better. I live in roach motel, mice infested apt. Which is below my standard, I eat food I don’t like, in fact I’ve been having some stomach aches lately. I don’t like the people I live with that much. They don’t respect me or my properties much. They’re everything I’m NOT! Still, why the hell do I tolerate such crap? ‘Cause I think I’m a responsible person. I think I’m doing the “right” thing. Or I’m hoping living this way will cause some weird ass stuff to me and I’ll drop dead. My demons, bottled up anger, frustration, unnecessary pain and suffering caused others plain stupidity are driving me into my own homebuilt prison. I’ve figured out life and it’s nothing but useless, pointless crap. Living it one or another won’t change the end result. Funny part is I like being tortured, sad. I get a kick out of it! I can’t be “happy”. Don’t try to make me.

Sorry guys, don’t ask me @ any event. If I’m close by, I’ll meet u @ you know where.

I’m pretty pissed right now!

[Listening to: Crawling – Linkin Park – Hybrid Theory (03:29)]

‘Rings’ Fans Have ‘Trilogy Tuesday’ I’m still piss…

‘Rings’ Fans Have ‘Trilogy Tuesday’ I’m still pissed about missing the event!

Bridget Moynahan is so HOT! [Listening to: Reptile…

Bridget Moynahan is so HOT!

[Listening to: Reptile – Nine Inch Nails – Downward Spiral (06:52)]

Why does Legal Helpdesk/Tech Support jobs require …

Why does Legal Helpdesk/Tech Support jobs require you to have previous legal experience?

Insider info I overheard @ a tech conference was that Legal/Law firm users don’t want to learn anything, dumb and are hard to work with.

[Listening to: Closer – Nine Inch Nails – Downward Spiral (06:13)]