The Hard Stuff

September 23, 2007

The sporting event that marriage most resembles is the three-legged race, where the object is to sprint forward while strapped to another person who is impeding your speed, grace, and mobility. In many ways, it’s nice to be strapped to this person, even when he stumbles, and so we have to figure out a way to run the race.

You said that taking this job was his decision to make, and you were “confident he’d make the right one.” This implies that if he made the “wrong” choice — the one you disagreed with — then it wasn’t his decision to make after all. The fact is, you both have a say, but he has more voting power because he’d be the one on the job every day. You can only tell him, as you put it, what “makes sense” (to you), and what you believe is best for you and your kids. If you push the issue, he may take the job only because it means so much to you, and resent you for it.

MSN Lifestyle – Relationships

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