Miss Information

September 19, 2007

I don’t like it when other people are happy either, Other Brother. It bothers me to see them so joyful. I live in a bar soaked neighborhood and sometimes I just want to open fire with an Uzi. Saturday night I almost punched a group of drunken kids for jostling my bag of kitty litter as they reached for the Red Bull display.

Moment like those, all you can do is take deep breaths. Channel Oprah’s spiritual healer du jour and breathe, man, breeeeeeathe.

Give your brother and his perfect partner two years, and one or both will be secretly fantasizing about living the single lifestyle. Couples think singles have it made. Singles think you never feel any pain once you’re in a couple. It’s life’s big wacky sitcom, and it never changes. 

Miss Information

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