THE SEVEN COMMANDMENTS

August 30, 2007

The First CommandmentDon’t see him or talk to him for sixty days

This is the most important thing you can do for yourself. This means NO CONTACT. Not only can you not reach out, you can accept no calls or visits. This is a self imposed “he-tox”.

Some suggestions to keep you on track:

  • Reorganize a closet
  • Learn to knit and start a knitting group
  • Become a Big Sister and work with underprivileged children

The Second CommandmentGet yourself a breakup buddy

Your breakup buddy will be the person you turn to when you are having a moment of weakness, feeling lonely or about to eat two buckets of fried chicken. Here are a few requirements for choosing the right Breakup Buddy:

  • Has at least a mild knowledge of your relationship.
  • Has a cell phone, pager, or other reliable way of being contacted.
  • Lives in close enough proximity to be accessible during emergency breakup meltdowns.

Note to the Breakup Buddy:

  • It is NOT your job to fix this person.
  • It’s ok to set limits.
  • Make it fun.

The Third CommandmentGet rid of his stuff and the things that remind you of him

Greg suggests you have a Boxing Day. It is up to you what goes and what stays. Three boxes are needed for a Boxing Day:

  • Return to Sender (His Box) – His Cds, his ipod, camera, his clothing, the baby photo his mom gave you of him.
  • Keepsakes for Pete’s Sake (Your Box) – Photos, love letters, and birthday cards.
  • Straight-Up Trash (Sayonora!) – His toothbrush, razor, retainer and Rogaine.

The Fourth CommandmentGet your ass in motion everyday

This could be as simple as just leaving the house everyday. Remember the Sun? Take yourself on a walk, take your broken heart to the movies or simply get in the car and drive. Just get moving.

The Fifth CommandmentDon’t wear your breakup out in the world

No more public breakdowns or tantrums. No more crying at your desk, shouting into your cell phone, or fighting with your ex at restaurants. How you present yourself is a projection of what your life looks like. Take off your victim pants and show the world the most rocking version of you that anyone (including you) has ever seen.

The Sixth CommandmentNo backsliding!

Starting over is hard. Starting over again is even harder. Backsliding includes everything from the little “catch up” call to the big Kahuna of backsliding- break up sex- and everything in between.

The Seventh CommandmentIt won’t work unless you are number one

You are the prize, the sun, the moon, and the stars. You have to learn to love yourself, like yourself, and put yourself first before you will ever find the healthy, loving, and lasting relationship you’re looking for.

The Seven Commandments are taken from:
It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt

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